My Reply to Bubble O'Bob

Dear Bubble O’Bob,

Thanks for your reply, I can’t help but noticing you never actually said no to me, perhaps you need more convincing on why we are meant to be together?

I have spent almost my whole paycheck on Bubble O'Bill's, chewing their nose imagining it was yours. Sometimes, when you aren’t on the T.V I take out a Bubble O'Bill just to stare at it, imagining it was you, my Bobby. I have attached a photo of you I made. 

I fear if I don't get a reply soon I will go broke. Bubble O’Bill’s aren’t cheap.

Those educated people, those horrible fools who try to make you sound dumb just because you say dumb things. They don’t realize you are only an asshole because god tells you to be. They don’t realize god wants you to deprive people of freedom. It is a little known fact that god actually said all men are created equal unless you are gay.

But I know this Bob. That's why I know you are stupid for god, in the same way I am stupid for Bob cock. How could I not love such a rugged ol school lump of a man.

Those smart guys, they might say that Christian's believe God made everything and they believe everything god made is good and therefore god must have made gay people and that must be good to.

They just haven’t read the bible I quote Matthew 7:12 directly when I say Do unto others as you would have others do unto you… unless they are gay, fuck those guys… but not literally.

They don't get that God made the gays so he can hate on them because god was a bit of a prick too. This might be why I am so turned on by you. By being a prick you are like God.

Despite all this I think the fact that you didn’t say no gives me hope. I have been designing shrines to you. I hope you like it. After our coffee (and by that I STILL MEAN SEX) you will see how natural gay marriage would be.

In fact maybe we can be the first gays to get married under the new laws. It’s my fairytale and a boy’s allowed to dream right. 

I know you are just playing hard to get Bobby otherwise you would have said no, you could have but you didn’t. I look forward to hearing from you again. I know you wouldn’t reply to everyone, but you did to me because we were meant to be together.

Yours faithfully

Anthony.